The More You Know

For more than 250,000 African Americans in Galveston, Texas, June 19, 1865 was a day of jubilation, as it signaled the final day of their enslavement. Two and a half years after the Emancipation Proclamation took effect on January 1, 1863, Texas had yet to officially recognize the President’s executive order. Not until Union General Gordon Granger arrived in Galveston, TX with 2,000 soldiers on June 19, 1865 did African Americans learn about their emancipation. To the people of Galveston, Granger read General Order No. 3:
“The people of Texas are informed that in accordance with a Proclamation from the Executive of the United States, all slaves are free. This involves an absolute equality of rights and rights of property between former masters and slaves, and the connection heretofore existing between them becomes that between employer and free laborer. The freedmen are advised to remain quietly at their present homes and work for wages. They are informed that they will not be allowed to collect at military posts and that they will not be supported in idleness either there or elsewhere.”
Today, 45 of the 50 US states and the District of Columbia recognize June 19th—more commonly known as Juneteenth, as a state or ceremonial holiday. And across the nation, African Americans celebrate Juneteenth to commemorate the freedom that their enslaved ancestors fought for and finally realized.

When You Can’t Speak

One of the effects of depression is that it can mute your ability to speak or reach out for help verbally.

Did you know that you can chat with a mental health professional instead?
suicidepreventionlifeline.org/chat can assist you when you can’t or don’t want to speak to someone.

You can also message them via Twitter or Instagram at the handle @800273talk

Check On Your People…

Mental health wellness and awareness is so important. In the black community people tend to either ignore the signs or look down on someone that is having suicidal thoughts or mental issues. This causes them to not want to open up about it out of fear of being ostricized. This needs to change. #SilenceTheShame

In the past I have had suicidal thoughts but was blessed to have people to turn to for help. Everyone isn’t as lucky. If you feel like you can’t talk to your friends or family you can always contact 1-800-273-talk.

Please check on your people. Take notice of the signs of change in their behavior and reach out. A simple text of “hey, just checking in on you to see if you’re okay.” Goes a long way. Trust me. You tmental health matters.

Almost Made It

Okay so this year I put in a mighty effort to fast from food this Ramadan. I tried. I really did. My body just wasn’t as strong as I thought it would be. I didn’t prepare well enough, I guess. I lasted for 16 out of the 31 days so that’s sort of a win. I think this is the longest I’ve gone so far before having to break. I normally cheat though and drink water or tea, but I tried to go without during fasting times for a few days towards the end before the break and it was too much for me. I became dizzy, I was having headaches and just not feeling great. And my blood sugar levels were way out of control. Ya see, I technically get a pass from abstaining from food because I’m a type 1 diabetic and need to eat. I can always fast in others ways. Fasting is just abstaining from something during those specified hours. It doesn’t have to be food. While many use food it can be anything. Similar to Lent.

So for the rest of Ramadan I’ll be abstaining from social media and the like. No Instagram posting, Facebook liking, though I’m rarely on Facebook noawadays anyway. I will only use social media to post my podcast links. Dassit.

I’m gone until June 15th after this. See ya soon!

Ramadan Mubarak

Ramadan Mubarak or happy Ramadan! This year I am going to try my hardest to adhere to Ramadan for the entire month. I’ve tried before, actually just about every year, and failed after the first few days. I think the longest is a week. This year Ramadan takes place from May 15th to June 13th, 2018.

I am a Muslim. I converted later in life but I’m not as devout as I used to be or even should be. I relate it now to catholism for some Catholics. Like, yes I am a Muslim but don’t ask me when was the last time I went to prayer and I love gummy bears. Okay so let me explain. Muslims don’t eat pork but gummy bears are made with gelatin and that has pork in it.

I need to get back on track so I plan to use this year’s Ramadan as a way to do it. Next year I plan to take a hajj aka pilgrimage to Mecca that Al able bodied Muslims are supposed to do at least once during their lifetime. We’ll see…

Anyway to my fellow Muslim brothers and sisters, I’d like to wish you Ramadan Mubarak and let me know if you are planning to take part in this year’s fast or nah?

Sincere Chats – News You Can Use

This week we touch on the 3 detainees being released from North Korea, Trump gutting the organization that protects student loans, Janet Jackson receiving the Billboard ICON award, Kimmie Schmidt returning for the 4th and final season, and Donald Glover’s This is America song and video. I got tired of re-recording so you get what you gon’ get! LOL but seriously, subscribe on itunes, soundcloud, google play music and don’t forget to tell a friend to tell a friend!

Happy Mother’s Day

First, I have to say happy Mother’s day to All the Moms out there. Love and respect. Today is one of the 3 days every year that is really tough on me. I lost my mom at a young age and never really got over it. I don’t think you can ever ‘get over’ a loss though. I guess a better what to put it is that I haven’t been the same since.

I don’t know how to explain how I feel but I’ve been told that it’s good to write it out as a way to cope. So here I am. Writing out how I feel.

I miss my mother on most days. Especially certain days like Mother’s day, her birthday and the day she passed. These are those three days I mentioned earlier. I miss the good times. Yes, we had our fair share of bad times but the good outweighted the bad.

Social media makes it worse. I open up Instagram and all I see are these beautiful pictures of my Friends and their moms out and about or my Friends and their kids just enjoying life. How can I be mad at such a beautiful sight? I mean these pictures are lovely and they all put a smile on my face. Then the depressive thoughts creep in. Like, I wish my mom could be here now, or they are so lucky to have their mom around… I have to shake off these thoughts so I tend to do things to keep me busy and motivated.

As soon as people find out that my mother passed they have all types of solutions on how to deal with it. The fact is that everyone deals with grief and loss in different ways. Me? I just fold it up into a nice little square and stick in deep down into the bottom of my bag. This bag is getting a little full and eventually I’ll have to deal with it. Just not right now. Right now I just want to make it through the day without breaking down or undoing all the work I’ve done the past month to bring my mental state back to a reasonable state.

Anyway, happy Mother’s day to all the mothers. I’m off to do some yoga in the park and find something to eat.

Difficult Takes A Day Impossible Takes A Week

It’s the simple things in life that are often the hardest to master. Seems crazy, right? I mean the simplest things should be well… Simple. I mean, it hard things are considered to be hard because they are difficult or take some time, thought and energy to complete. While on the other hand, something is considered to be simple because it is easy or doesn’t take too much thought, time or energy to complete. Simple reasoning and logic right? Wrong. You see, people are wired differently. You may see something and interpret it one way and yet I can see the very same thing at the very same time and get a totally different perspective on it or the situation. This is what makes us unique and different.

What I’m getting at is that social media and other factors have somewhat taken away that free-thinking, different perspective having mentality that we once had. Now I can’t blame this all on social media. This has been happening way before the digital age. I believe it’s referred to as the mob mentality? Don’t quote me on that. Actually, hold on, let me google it right quick. Mobbbbbb Mennnn taaaaa llittty…. yep, its the mob mentality. According to Wikipedia; herd mentality and mob mentality, also lesser known as gang mentality, describes how people can be influenced by their peers to adopt certain behaviors on a largely emotional, rather than rational, basis. Remember the Salem witch trials? Mob mentality. Let’s take it all the way back. Remember Jesus and nem? Mob mentality.

It’s especially easier to whip up a frenzy en masse with this generation. Because of the internet and its ability to literally reach people worldwide, what you say does have power. For example, right now there is someone in Sweden or Japan or the Netherlands or Turkey or Cleveland or wherever you are right now that is listening to me as I drivel on and on about whatever it is that I’m talking about right now. My words have power. And so do yours. Use them wisely. Like my Man Uncle Ben told Peter Parker; with great power comes great responsibility. Coincidently Jesus told a certain Peter this same thing…Look it up. Luke chapter 12 verses 41 through 48. 48 in particular.

But anyway, back to the simple things. The simple thing for me that seems to be the hardest for me to do is meet new people. It is like so nerve racking for me to go to a complete stranger and be all like “hey, how are you? I’m Will. What’s your name? Do you want to be my friend?” Sounds and feels weird as hell. It’s crazy because I’m a grown ass man that can’t is afraid to simply say ‘hi’ to someone in the elevator. Shit’s scary, B.

All of these crazy scenarios play in my head like what if I sound like a wacko? Or what if they ignore me, then I’ll be stuck here staring awkwardly off into space trying not to make eye contact as this elevator slowly creeps it’s way to the 22nd floor. Or what if, God forbid, she’s a chatty Kathy and *gasp* by me saying hello I’ve just opened the floodgates and now she’ll talk me to death? Just stay quiet… So that’s what I do. Keep quiet and try not to make eye contact by playing with my phone, counting the ceiling or floor tiles. Anything.

Then I get off the elevator and more scenarios run through my head like “ why didn’t you say something when she smiled at you? What If she wasn’t some wacko chatty Kathy? *gasp* what if she was the one and you squandered your chance? Crap.

The point is that In life we don’t get many do-overs or second chances. You must seize the moment when it comes. That is what I aim to do. Seize the moment and live for the day. I hope this wasn’t too jumbled or discombobulated. I’m just trying to get the thoughts from my head to this page as quickly and seamlessly as possible. Not sure if it’s working or not though…

Hey…

Yep, I’m still here. I’ve been gone for awhile dealing with this craziness called life.

I let life get the best of me and found myself in a bad place. I needed to step back and reassess some things. Thankfully my tribe and framily recognized the change in me and quickly contacted me and basically said, in the most lovingly way that they can, get your shit together because we care about and love ya!

So I’m getting my shit together. Y’all already know about me seeing my therapist for anxiety but it just wasn’t enough. Depression crept in and started messing with things. Moving around emotions and putting stuff in places that they don’t belong like they live here. Nah, depression. That ain’t how this works. You can’t just come up in my space and change stuff without asking first. Nah, bruh. Go on somewhere with all that.

I’m trying something new and hopefully this will work. I should see results in 6-8 weeks… We’ll see. In the meantime in-between time. I’m meditating send back to exercising oh and writing.

So just a quick update; I’m back, on some new meds for depression and trying to live my life to the fullest.

Okay, bye.

Yeezy Taught Me

Yesterday, well the past 2 days, I was in a funk. I needed to get out of it and quick. I can’t live like that. I was doing too well and feeling too good to revert back.

I had to shake this feeling so I turned to my favorite activity. Listening to music. Music gets me out of the bad place. Specifically Kanye. For some reason I feel a connection to his music and vibe. I understand him and he understands me.

People talk bad about Kanye and call him crazy but to me he’s just misunderstood. When I feel misunderstood I can listen to some Kanye and know that someone else gets it. If there’s nobody else that gets me, Kanye gets me.

Now that I think about it, I could be in a bad place because I missed my last 2 therapy appointments. The first one was on me and my poor scheduling but the last one was on him… I’ll get back right sooner or later. Hopefully sooner rather than later.

I think I just exerted too much energy this week and last week. Went to see Black Panther on last Thursday, Friday, Saturday and Sunday. Then I went to see my dad (in my head) Spike Lee’s School Daze on Monday. It’s all catching up to me now and I’m crashing. Too much extroverting.