When You Believe…

sem·i·co·lon

ˈsemēˌkōlən,ˈsemīˌkōlən/

noun

a punctuation mark (;) indicating a pause, typically between two main clauses, that is more pronounced than that indicated by a comma.

Every tattoo on my body has some personal meaning to it. This is a marking that, unless I have it covered, I will bear for the rest of my life as a message to the world as to what I am about or was going through at the time. This is my newest addition.

As an mental health advocate and survivor of suicidal thoughts and depression I chose the word believe with a semicolon replacing the letter ‘i’.

This tattoo encourages me to bel;eve that things will be better and that this is not the end of my journey.

It’s one thing to just say aloud or to myself that even though times are hard that they will be better and things will be okay. It’s a total difference when you actually bel;eve that things will be better or different.

The bel;ef in a better way is what makes it happen. When you truly bel;eve that you will be okay, you will be. You have to bel;eve.

When You Can’t Speak

One of the effects of depression is that it can mute your ability to speak or reach out for help verbally.

Did you know that you can chat with a mental health professional instead?
suicidepreventionlifeline.org/chat can assist you when you can’t or don’t want to speak to someone.

You can also message them via Twitter or Instagram at the handle @800273talk

Check On Your People…

Mental health wellness and awareness is so important. In the black community people tend to either ignore the signs or look down on someone that is having suicidal thoughts or mental issues. This causes them to not want to open up about it out of fear of being ostricized. This needs to change. #SilenceTheShame

In the past I have had suicidal thoughts but was blessed to have people to turn to for help. Everyone isn’t as lucky. If you feel like you can’t talk to your friends or family you can always contact 1-800-273-talk.

Please check on your people. Take notice of the signs of change in their behavior and reach out. A simple text of “hey, just checking in on you to see if you’re okay.” Goes a long way. Trust me. You tmental health matters.

Happy Mother’s Day

First, I have to say happy Mother’s day to All the Moms out there. Love and respect. Today is one of the 3 days every year that is really tough on me. I lost my mom at a young age and never really got over it. I don’t think you can ever ‘get over’ a loss though. I guess a better what to put it is that I haven’t been the same since.

I don’t know how to explain how I feel but I’ve been told that it’s good to write it out as a way to cope. So here I am. Writing out how I feel.

I miss my mother on most days. Especially certain days like Mother’s day, her birthday and the day she passed. These are those three days I mentioned earlier. I miss the good times. Yes, we had our fair share of bad times but the good outweighted the bad.

Social media makes it worse. I open up Instagram and all I see are these beautiful pictures of my Friends and their moms out and about or my Friends and their kids just enjoying life. How can I be mad at such a beautiful sight? I mean these pictures are lovely and they all put a smile on my face. Then the depressive thoughts creep in. Like, I wish my mom could be here now, or they are so lucky to have their mom around… I have to shake off these thoughts so I tend to do things to keep me busy and motivated.

As soon as people find out that my mother passed they have all types of solutions on how to deal with it. The fact is that everyone deals with grief and loss in different ways. Me? I just fold it up into a nice little square and stick in deep down into the bottom of my bag. This bag is getting a little full and eventually I’ll have to deal with it. Just not right now. Right now I just want to make it through the day without breaking down or undoing all the work I’ve done the past month to bring my mental state back to a reasonable state.

Anyway, happy Mother’s day to all the mothers. I’m off to do some yoga in the park and find something to eat.