When You Can’t Speak

One of the effects of depression is that it can mute your ability to speak or reach out for help verbally.

Did you know that you can chat with a mental health professional instead?
suicidepreventionlifeline.org/chat can assist you when you can’t or don’t want to speak to someone.

You can also message them via Twitter or Instagram at the handle @800273talk

Check On Your People…

Mental health wellness and awareness is so important. In the black community people tend to either ignore the signs or look down on someone that is having suicidal thoughts or mental issues. This causes them to not want to open up about it out of fear of being ostricized. This needs to change. #SilenceTheShame

In the past I have had suicidal thoughts but was blessed to have people to turn to for help. Everyone isn’t as lucky. If you feel like you can’t talk to your friends or family you can always contact 1-800-273-talk.

Please check on your people. Take notice of the signs of change in their behavior and reach out. A simple text of “hey, just checking in on you to see if you’re okay.” Goes a long way. Trust me. You tmental health matters.


Yep, I’m still here. I’ve been gone for awhile dealing with this craziness called life.

I let life get the best of me and found myself in a bad place. I needed to step back and reassess some things. Thankfully my tribe and framily recognized the change in me and quickly contacted me and basically said, in the most lovingly way that they can, get your shit together because we care about and love ya!

So I’m getting my shit together. Y’all already know about me seeing my therapist for anxiety but it just wasn’t enough. Depression crept in and started messing with things. Moving around emotions and putting stuff in places that they don’t belong like they live here. Nah, depression. That ain’t how this works. You can’t just come up in my space and change stuff without asking first. Nah, bruh. Go on somewhere with all that.

I’m trying something new and hopefully this will work. I should see results in 6-8 weeks… We’ll see. In the meantime in-between time. I’m meditating send back to exercising oh and writing.

So just a quick update; I’m back, on some new meds for depression and trying to live my life to the fullest.

Okay, bye.

Just Win The Day…

Sigh… I have to repeat this to myself everyday. Just win the day. Not the week or month. Just the day. Sometimes the hour…

Dealing with anxiety and depression is a daily struggle. Some days are better than others but everyday is a struggle. It’s especially hard when the people around you don’t really understand what’s going on or even how to deal with it. Struggle. Being around young extroverted frat boys all day is exhausting and draining as hell. I did say I wanted to step out and be more engaging. So I guess that’s what I need to do… It’s just difficult when you feel like nobody understands you but you.

I was feeling so good, y’all. I was on a high. I went out like twice this month already and had a great time. Then today it hit me like a ton of bricks. I just felt like I woke up on the wrong side of the bed. I’ve just been in a bad, depressive mood all day. I’m sure it’ll wash over.

Sigh. Gotta remember to just win the day…

Black Excellence; Doing It For What Culture?

I see it all the time. Hell I use it all the time. I use it to describe anything that my people are doing that is great. I have noticed that this hashtag and term has been thrown around on social media only to describe things like lavish trips out of the country, getting a degree or being successful in business. While these things are all fine and good and I applaud you for the accomplishments they should not be the only definition of #blackexcellence. How about things like healthy relationships? Eating healthy and taking care of our bodies? More importantly taking care of our minds and mental health? Y’all know I struggle with mental health issues so anytime I have a good sane day in this bad insane world is #blackexcellence. Let’s stop limiting ourselves as to what the phrase means and how it coincides with our lives. Yes, at one point in time having things like an advanced degree, a passport and a good job to buy expensive material things was a sign of black excellence because for so long we have been denied access or thought of those as a ‘luxury’ only afforded to the rich I.e. whites. We must evolve past that state of mind. Mental health is still looked at as the plague in black society. The family unit is in disarray and our health is frankly ridiculously poor. Now that we know better we must do better.

Another one that kind of gets lost in translation is #doitfortheculture. I get it but doing it for what culture? Example; Marvel releasing the movie Black Panther is not doing it for the black culture. It’s doing it for the Marvel Franchise and the Marvel Culture. People really think that Marvel just created the Black Panther character in the last few years. Black Panther has been around forever! I remember reading the comic when I was a kid and I’m 38 so that’s at least 30 years worth of Black Panther. Same goes with Luke Cage. Shit ain’t new, Homie. A quick google search will tell you that the character has been around since 1966. Like for real people do your research. The release of black panther is not about doing it for the culture, well at least not specifically the black culture.

Sigh. We sure know how to ruin a good thing. Oh and for those folks that are on instagram talking about “I don’t do this for likes or comments. I do this for the culture”. Ummm… You’re doing it wrong. Instagram is built on likes and comments. That’s the whole point of it; to share your adventures or non adventures and people like and comment on them. It started out as a photo sharing app for people to see other people’s work and like or comment. It’s cool that you’re so deep and into whatever but if you’re not here for the likes and comments you are on the wrong platform, buddy. Take that shit over to facebook where no one really cares. Stop trying to make it more deep or ‘woke’ than what it is. Nobody’s really reading your stupid caption anyway. Keep it moving.

The ‘woke’ stuff needs to stop. Like for real. Most of you so called ‘woke’ folks need to take some melatonin and take a nap because, again you’re doing it wrong. It’s cool to inform people of the mistreatment or malign of a culture or group of people but also do your research before jumping to say something is racist, sexist, ageist or any other -ist you can think of. I don’t mean that we should or that I ignore blatant discrimination or mistreatment but before you jump on something to boycott or call them out how about we actually look at the whole situation. Was it really that way or did that person make you perceive it that way * cough Monique vs Netflix*? Sometimes people want to play the victim because that’s the only role they know how to play. What part did you play in the downfall or failure of the situation?